Cereal

I love cereal, but I don’t eat it because it is a trigger food for me.  That means if I pull the trigger, I’m dead.  I will eat too much of that food because I love it so much.

Sometime in 1999 or 2000, I saw an episode of Oprah where two doctors had written a book on Carbohydrate Addicts.  The entire concept made sense to me because I knew that the primary reason I was overweight was that I eat too many carbs.  I bought the book and began the diet.  It was very rigid.  All during the day you were to have no carbs, except for a one-hour period when you could have them.  The theory is that when you are constantly snacking throughout the day, your body thinks it’s getting a meal every time and turns on something (it’s been 12 years, I can’t remember exactly) to burn the sugar, but it is only getting a snack and it doesn’t react properly.  They went so far as to say that if you were planning to go to the movies and have popcorn, you had to make sure to eat your carb meal right before you went so that your popcorn could be consumed in the one-hour period (that must have been before theaters starting having commercials, along with previews).  They also said that when you ate at another person’s house you should ask them if you could have your dessert with your meal because it might drag on longer than an hour (how rude is that?). 

I realized right away that I could have almost nothing I had been accustomed to eating, no fruit, which is one of my favorites, no potatoes, no corn, not even beans or deli meat.  I would sometimes have to drive across town to get Dr. Atkins bars because I would be so hungry, but could think of nothing to eat.  I stayed on that diet two years and lost 25 lbs.  You are thinking only 25?  When you are literally starving, you can consume quite a lot of carbs in a one-hour period, plus my body knew it was starving and slowed my metabolism to zero. 

The results of this diet were that since I had no carbs for fuel, I would burn fat.  My legs looked better than they had looked in years.  But your body doesn’t completely burn the fat, so you have to drink huge amounts of water to flush out the remainder.  The result is that you have bad breath.  Did I mention that you are also not allowed breath mints or gum – even unsweetened?  The book says that your body can’t tell the difference between sugar and Equal, Splenda, etc. 

Every day your body takes in carcinogens (cancer-causing), which you are able to get rid of by eating lots of fiber and drinking lots of water.  Oh, that’s why you need to have those!  On the Carbohydrate Addicts diet, there was almost no fiber.  They even went so far as to say that if you weren’t losing at a rate you hoped for, you should eliminate broccoli.  When you aren’t going to the bathroom enough, you have the potential for keeping those carcinogens in your body.  In 2002, I started to have some severe medical problems.  I had a tumor growing on one of my ovaries.  It turned out to be non-malignant, and I narrowly escaped ruining my life over a ridiculous diet.

During the testing of the medical problems, I had to drink about two quarts of water and have ultrasounds.  On my way to work, I would go right by Perkins.  I started eating banana nut muffins – not a good idea at all, but they are so good.

Saturday, my husband picked up some cereal for me.  He means well.  I told him to get Kashi chewy trail mix (that’s a granola bar, pre-packaged so I don’t eat more than I should).  He couldn’t find them, so he got Kashi Mountain Medley.  At least, it doesn’t have the clusters, which I would be tempted to eat right out of the box.  The pieces are small and only meant to be eaten with a spoon. I put a ¼ measuring cup in the box and am allowed two of those.  That isn’t the amount of cereal I would eat if I just poured.  It is wonderful.  It has some things you have to chew a long time, so it makes it seem like more food.  The only problem I have with it is that one of the ingredients is evaporated cane crystals.  Come on.  We all know that’s sugar, so quit trying so hard.

One of my favorite foods is Quaker Oatmeal Squares.  I can eat those like popcorn, and can go through a box in two or three days.  I cannot have those in my house.

Did I mention that I was not allowed cereal for the two years I was on the Carbohydrate Addicts diet?  That’s hard for someone who doesn’t eat eggs.  I went to Cracker Barrel once, when I was on vacation, and could only have bacon.

Let's eat healthy, and not be ridiculous!